When The Grass Was Green

The pages of history are full of turning points which were often the result of cataclysmic events: the Wall Street Crash of 1929, the bombing of Pearl Harbour in 1941, the assassination of President John F Kennedy in 1963.  But the turning point I wish to write about here didn’t quite happen that way.  It was much more hidden, almost invisible until it was exposed in a very public way.

   It was in my senior year at Tam High that I accidentally discovered the existence of a very secret subterranean activity.  It was a slip of the tongue by a pretty young woman who sat on my right in Mister Kent’s morning art class, which first alerted me to something mysterious.  We were all working on our water colour pictures and the pretty brunette on my right was telling us what she and her boyfriend had done on the weekend.

   “We went to Sausalito,” she began in a distracted manner, “and scored a matchbox.”  She suddenly stopped talking and muttered “shit!”  I immediately asked what the matter was but she clammed up and said no more so I returned my attention to the picture I was paintng of Mead Theatre.

   Mister Kent’s art class in Keyser Hall had a very relaxed atmosphere and I was surrounded by attractive young women so it was something I actually looked forward to.  The silence of the room was altered by a gentle whisper from the young brunette. “You promise not to tell anyone?” she asked.  “He made me promise not to talk about this.”  The young lady on my left and I promised not to tell and she continued.

   “We scored a matchbox.  You know?  Marijuana.”

   This was heady stuff and, inside, my first reaction was one of terror, though I nodded sagely, as she continued to talk about this new alien activity.  The subject of drugs and drug addiction was something that happened, metaphorically, on the other side of the tracks.  I had been told cautionary tales by my father Blackie who had known singer Billie Holiday in New York, who was addicted to heroin.  He also told me of a sailor on a ship who went bezerk with an axe because his supply had run out.  Blackie and his shipmates overpowered the fellow and tied him to a mast.  The Chronicle was full of news stories about drug addicts and the police but it was a world away from our lives.  So to hear this young woman talking about marijuana was scary.

   The jargon she spoke was new to me, using the word stoned to describe being high on weed, rather than drunk on alcohol.  Turned on was a phrase I’d heard disc jockeys use on the radio but she used it as: turning on was getting high and she described marijuana cigarettes as joints.  

   It wasn’t long before I managed to get an invitation to join the pretty brunette and her sister at their mother’s house up on Lovell one Friday night where they were entertaining a guy I’d known in my younger years from Muir Beach.  They talked about nothing but getting stoned all night and it opened my eyes to this secret society which existed here in Mill Valley as well as Sausalito and Marin City.  More new jargon came my way: a head was someone who smoked weed and the word paranoid was used to describe feeling nervous.  The evening’s chatter made me sit up and pay attention.  Inherent in all the conversations I was listening to was the attitude that drinking was a drag and that smoking reefer was superior.

   Every Friday night, except for this one, my brother Jim and I would join our friend Augie Belden at the apartment in Una Way that he shared with his mother.  Mrs Belden would, without fail, spend the weekend somewhere north with her rich boyfriend and this vacuum was filled every Friday night by us getting drunk there and going to the local dance.

   So I was privy to this new pot smoking scene but didn’t participate in it and it really was a secret society going on beneath the radar that most students at Tam responded to.  It did, however come to the attention of the State Narcotics Bureau who sent an undercover agent into southern Marin to infiltrate the group who was dealing the grass.  The agent drove a flashy GTO and befriended the relevant dealers at C’s Drive-In on Miller Avenue, where all the hard guys hung out.  He also fanned out into Marin City and Sausalito making deals and gathering evidence.

On the left a photo of a 1965 Pontiac GTO, a highly desirable vehicle at that time, which the undercover narcotics officer drove – and on the right a photo of C’s Drive-In on Miller Avenue.

   A few weeks before I graduated in the summer of 1965 they conducted a massive Saturday night raid which made front page news in the Sunday papers the next day.  I was shocked to see a photo of Steve Nau on the front page of the Chronicle under the headline: Marin Dope Roundup.  Steve was a kid we knew at Tam High who lived in Sausalito.  A startled photo of Steve, being arrested at the Fireside Motel, was right in the middle of the front page.  The Fireside, where my friends and I used to have pizza eating contests, was commandeered by the agents as their base for this coordinated raid.  Dan Terzich, the Mill Valley Police chief, was part of the operation.

The front pages of the Sunday editions of the San Francisco Chronicle and The Examiner on the morning after the raid.

On the left a photo of Mill Valley police chief Dan Terzich in uniform. Centre is The Fireside Motel. On the right Chief Terzich examines a pot plant presented by his deputy.

   It must be remembered just how important the print media was in 1965.  San Francisco had two major newspapers: the Chronicle and the Examiner and both covered the raid on the front pages of their Sunday morning editions.  The Independent Journal had coverage on the Monday as they didn’t put out a paper on Sunday at that time.  The newspaper coverage would have been read all over Marin County.

   The raid came as a huge shock and the newspapers kept the story alive for weeks after.  Why Steve Nau’s name and photo was allowed to be used is a mystery.  Steve was 16 at the time of his arrest and all the papers had a policy of only giving the names and addresses of those who were over 18.  When Steve appeared back at school the following week, he told a group of us all about his arrest at the Fireside Motel and how the undercover agent who had trapped him, was put into custody and handcuffed along with the rest of them.

The newspaper coverage continued long after the initial arrests at The Fireside.

   Mr Prather, our principal at Tam High, was soon being quoted in news stories after he announced that any students using or possessing marijuana near or on campus will be permanently excluded from the school.  I have no memory of Mr Prather’s address to the student body about drugs but The Independent Journal reported him as saying: “Many of you seem to believe that the use of marijuana is not harmful to you, as you have been told that it is not a narcotic and is not addictive.  While technically, this might be true, I would like to remind you that arsenic also is not a narcotic and is not addictive.”  The next day the Chronicle quoted Mr Prather as saying that: “This problem belongs to the whole community.  It is far bigger than just one group, and when an easy narcotics source comes along, it won’t be licked by one group alone.”

   The continuing coverage in the newspapers was sensational and melodramatic in the style of Jack Webb on Dragnet or a Dick Tracy comic strip.  “While Prather was speaking,” read the piece in the Chronicle, “Word came from New York that police there had arrested another suspect in the marijuana ring in Marin.  Held in New York pending extradition proceedings was Anthony Pastor, 26, unemployed from Mill Valley.  He had been sought on a warrant issued by the Marin County district attorney’s office late last week.”

The newspaper coverage of the raid struck a tone rather like the TV show DRAGNET or the comic strip DICK TRACY.

   The Chronicle ran a front page article titled Worried Father Wonders ‘Why’.  It was an interview with Steve Nau’s father, Sidney, who was grief stricken at his son’s arrest.  Sidney Nau was a longshore gang boss on the San Francisco waterfront.  The reporter described him gazing out his window at the bay and  clenching his fist when he described the long haired beatniks hanging out down in Sausalito’s park, Vina Del Mar.  Mr Nau spent the interview wondering where he had gone wrong with his son and stating that he was standing by Steve.

   Sausalito’s police chief, Kenneth H Huck, made headlines by announcing a two pronged attack on drug dealers, asking for more resources from the city council and a programme of education for parents.  The curfew laws would be strictly enforced and any “questionable characters” seen in the company of juveniles  would face arrest and possible prosecution for contributing to the delinquency of minors.  Using pre-feminist syntax, chief Huck said: “We hope to educate the parent in the appearance of marijuana and narcotics so that he will be able to detect its use.  We hope to work with the juvenile in showing him the hazards and the danger involved in use of narcotics.”  Speaking to a group of 30 representatives of churches and service clubs at City Hall, Huck told them that he’d seen pushers operating in the downtown park Vina Del Mar: “peeking around trees.  The major part of the problem is still before us.  The amount of youth involved is a great number.  You see in the newspaper, 100 or 150.  We have more than that in Sausalito who have tried or used marijuana.”

Sausalito’s downtown park, Vina Del Mar, and a photo of then Police Chief Kenneth H Huck.

   Although I followed the news coverage to a certain extent, a combination of the excitement about graduation and the anticipation of my trip to sea eclipsed my interest in the dope raid and its consequences which continued to generate sensational news stories.

   Two days after my graduation I was working as a mess boy on a Norwegian tanker steaming towards Yokohama.  Ironically I shared a fo’c’sle with Kent Baldwin, a younger student from Tam High, but most of my socialising was done with non-Americans.  I spent the entire summer on that ship.  This was a huge change in my life and none of the things I had become used to as a young person would ever be the same again.  

   When I returned to Mill Valley I was a very changed person.  I had been to Japan, Formosa and the Philippines.  I had gone through the Panama Canal, visited New Orleans after Hurricane Betsy had ravaged the place, and finally signed off in the place of my birth, New York City.  Before I contacted my relatives, I spent a week at the YMCA which later was made famous by the Village People.  I learned first hand about loneliness in the big city and when I returned to my home town, I was much less confident and more introspective.  But in addition to the changes within myself, the town I’d come back to was also different.

   Tam High was not the same place I had graduated from a mere few months earlier.  Most of the male students had long hair.  Kaftans and beads were everywhere and clearly a majority of the students were now smoking marijuana.  A friend of mine who was now a senior had, at the time of my graduation, sported a collegiate haircut.  He now had long hair and looked like Sonny Bono, complete with flared trousers.  And his girlfriend, in spite of having red hair, looked like Cher.  He filled me in on the changes which had occurred in the youth culture of Mill Valley.  He was now very much part of the new drug culture which had blossomed in Marin County.

   I have no doubt that the purpose of the raid which the narcotics bureau pulled off in the summer of 1965 was to stamp out and put an end to the use of marijuana in southern Marin.  The publicity surrounding the raid, however, seemed to have the effect of popularising marijuana with young people.  I very much doubt that Madison Avenue could have done a better job of selling weed smoking to the teenagers of Mill Valley, Sausalito and Marin City.  By the following year, the hippie era was well under way and the way of life I had grown up in was gone forever.

   On my return to Mill Valley in September, 1965, I enrolled at College of Marin where I took journalism and worked on the newspaper, The Tower Times.  All my friends were smoking dope and any resistance I’d had previously simply dissolved.  I started getting stoned in a big way.  My initial attempts at smoking grass while still in high school were not at all successful as I couldn’t appreciate the subtleties of its effect on me.  But now I was getting loaded after the first toke was sucked into my lungs.  Listening to music through a haze of green smoke was terrifically heightened.  I would hang out with my friend Matt who lived on a houseboat in Larkspur.  It was there that I discovered and listened over and over to the first Lovin’ Spoonful album.

   I started doing a weekly comic strip in the college paper called Captain Campus.  It was shamelessly influenced by the ABC television version of Batman which was wonderfully funny and its use of comic book graphics was so stylish.  I stayed at the College of Marin for just one semester and the comic strip started out with a slightly amateur look but by the end had become professional looking.

   I went to the Trips Festival at the Longshoreman’s Hall where I saw Bill Graham for the first time.  He looked very straight with a Frankie Avalon hairdo but he mixed fluidly with the long haired rock musicians on the stage.  Later I went to a gig at the Fillmore Auditorium and was amazed at the size of the dope smoking scene.  I also saw the posters being done and thought to myself that I could do that kind of work so I put together a package of my comic strips and a psychedelic ad I’d done for a dance at College of Marin and sent it to Bill Graham at the Fillmore.  About a week later Bill rang up and invited me to come see him at the Fillmore.

   The cultural changes which had occurred between graduating from Tam in June of 1965 and one year later were astounding.  The way of life I had experienced in my four years at Tamalpais High School was over.  It would never be like that again.

   Years later I was living and working in London when the film American Graffiti came out and I saw it at the ABC on Holloway Road.  George Lucas directed and co-wrote it with Gloria Katz and Willard Huyck.  The film reconstructed what my high school life was like brilliantly.  I recognised every single character in the film, including myself.  The hard guys, the rah-rahs, the cruising on 4th Street, the drive-ins and even someone getting pantsed.  It was exactly how American teenage life was like before marijuana came along and took all the kids away.

   We don’t normally choose what we’re nostalgic about but if I did have such a choice I would pick the way of life depicted in American Graffiti over the hippie era without a doubt.

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A Descent Into Darkness

Previously in Miller Avenue Musings:  After spending several weeks as a day patient at a San Francisco clinic, I finally started coming down from the drug which drove me crazy.  Coco Cutler, a family friend with an interest in psychoanalysis, befriended me.

Unlike my parents, Coco could relate to the state of mind I was in.    She leant a sympathetic ear to me and it was a huge help.  I soon became a regular visitor to her apartment on top of Telegraph Hill.  I learned that she was plugged into the scene that Blackie’s friend Lew Welch was a part of.  Allen Ginsberg, Lawrence Ferlinghetti and Alan Watts were among her acquaintences.  But she was nothing like a beatnik at all.  Prim, proper, elegantly spoken and with a physical beauty which benefited from growing old gracefully.  

   Coco was, like all my parents’ friends, a person of the political left and had been married to another of my family’s acquaintances, Al Richmond, who wrote for the People’s World newspaper.  I never knew exactly what office job Coco did, but many times I saw her wearily climbing Telegraph Hill after a day’s work.

   Sometime in 1966 I discovered a small movie theatre in North Beach which showed a lot of old Humphrey Bogart pictures which   I had a particular fascination for.  I saw Casablanca, To Have And Have Not, Beat The Devil and a movie which completely entranced me because the opening scenes featured Marin County locations.  I’ve always found the joy of recognition to be a powerful emotion and the film Dark Passage began with an escape from San Quentin prison.  We saw the fingers of the escapee gripping the rim of a barrel he was inside of, on the back of a flat bed truck.  He made it rock back and forth as the truck drove away from the prison and the sound of police sirens began to wail in the distance.  The barrel then tumbled off the truck and rolled down a steep hill.  The escapee soon found beautiful Lauren Bacall who hid him in the back of her woodie vehicle.  Seeing the hills of Marin behind all this action was terribly exciting to me and soon Lauren Bacall’s woodie was going through the tunnel on Waldo Grade.  All the cars were from 1946.  She crossed the Golden Gate bridge, ending up at her apartment on Telegraph Hill.  At some time during a visit to Coco’s flat I must have mentioned this film and it transpired that she had seen them shoot a scene right outside her apartment.

When this film was shot there was only one two-way tunnel on Waldo Grade.

Ms Bacall’s woodie crosses the Golden Gate Bridge. We then see her apartment on Telegraph Hill.

   The neat trick that Dark Passage pulled off was that we never saw Bogart’s face until he wound up having plastic surgery.  With a big bandage covering his face, he staggered up the steps at Filbert Street to Bacall’s apartment on Telegraph Hill.  This was the scene that Coco had witnessed the filming of.  She told me she felt very sorry for Bogart who had to repeat the climb many times as they shot take after take.  

On the left we see Bogart climbing the steps in 1946 and the same steps today.

   Dark Passage was an intricately plotted thriller which combined good writing with excellent acting.  Directed by Delmer Daves, it fell into a category that French film critics would, after World War 2, christen film noir.  This phrase described Hollywood films which were absorbed by darkness and pessimism.

   Darkness and pessimism were two realities that I was slowly descending into.  I had been incarcerated in Napa State Hospital from the middle of July until the first week of August when my father got me discharged because of a suicidal inmate who took against me.  All the time I was there and for many weeks after, I was in my own universe with practically no interest in or knowledge of what was going on out in the real world.  When I got back to my parents’ apartment, I didn’t read the Chronicle or watch the news.  I listened to pop music on the radio but that was the limit of my intake.

   By August the race riots across the country had simmered down and President Johnson established a senate judiciary committee to investigate the causes.  Michigan governor George Romney who, at the outbreak of the riots in Detroit, had asked Johnson to send federal troops to the city, now criticised the president for playing politics with the issue.  Romney, though a Republican with an eye on the presidential nomination of 1968, also came out against the Vietnam war.

   The summer of love was thought to be all flower children and peace.  However a pair of gruesome murders occurred which contradicted that image.  They involved both the Haight Ashbury community and Marin County.  The dead body of known drug dealer, Willam E. Thomas, referred to in the Haight as Superspade, was found trussed up in a khaki sleeping bag on a steep cliff near the Point Reyes Coast Guard station.  He had been stabbed in the chest and shot through the head.

   Five days earlier the dead body of Haight drug dealer John Kent Carter, was discovered in his San Francisco apartment.  He was found  lying on a mattress with a dozen stab wounds and his right arm severed and missing.  San Francisco police issued an all points bulletin for the arrest of Eric Frank Dahlstrom, 23, of Sausalito.  Dahlstrom was well known as a motorcycle racer at tracks like Cotati and Vacaville.  He had a reputation for  superb skill and reckless behaviour.  Officers in Sausalito immediately checked his parents’ house on Monte Mar Drive and found Dahlstrom’s car in the garage with its licence plates missing.  It was nearly 11 pm on a Saturday night when the Sausalito police added Dahlstrom’s plate numbers to the APB for his arrest.  Twenty minutes later on a street in Sebastopol, patrolman Charles Baker spotted a car with those same plates.  He turned his red light on and pulled the car over.  Knowing the APB was for a murder, the officer approached the vehicle with his gun drawn.  Dahlstrom, however, surrendered without resistance.  In the back seat of the vehicle officers found, wrapped in blue suede, the severed forearm of John Kent Carter.

   Eric Dahlstrom was not shy about telling the story of Carter’s murder to assembled reporters at San Francisco police HQ.  He said that he had killed Carter while under the influence of LSD and that he had considered dismembering the body.  According to Helix, a Seattle underground newspaper, Dahlstrom was undergoing an “Olympics-calibre bummer caused, he believed, by inferior-quality acid” which Carter had sold him.  Offended, he went to Carter’s to discuss it.  During the discussion, Dahlstrom said, Carter shoved him.  “I got shoved,” he told reporters.  “Don’t nobody shove me.”  The Helix account continued: “Dahlstrom grabbed up a 12-inch kitchen knife and stabbed him rapidly 12 times, most of them fatally.  He undertook to dismember the body , but gave it up after neatly amputating the right arm above the elbow.  He wrapped the arm in blue suede and split with it, taking also a .38 pistol, $3,000 Carter had assembled to give to an acid wholesaler called Superspade.”

   At first it seemed that there might be a connection between the murder of Superspade and John Kent Carter but as time passed, investigators concluded that they were separate incidents.  Earlier that week Dahlstrom had been to Slide Ranch where he kept a motorcycle.  His behaviour was strange and he was asked to leave because he was “acting goofy.”

These murders inspired sensational headlines in the press.

   This story, which was covered extensively by all the bay area newspapers, passed me by completely.  Weekdays I spent at the clinic run by Dr. Weinberg which had a calming effect on me.  I attended my sessions at the clinic for four or five weeks and when that time was up, the darkness began to claim my soul.  My spirits had been fairly up beat until that time.  Coco’s friendship became very important to me during this time.

On the left is Dr Art Weinberg who ran the day clinic I attended. In the centre and right are two pictures of Coco Cutler in 1943 and 2002.

   Somewhere in the midst of all this, my sister Nell visited from London with her one year old son Michael who we all called ‘Poggy.’  He was a beautiful child and having him there took me out of myself which must have aided my recovery.  Nellie looked terrific and had taken to the role of young mother with gusto.  Nellie’s new motherhood forged a strong link with sister Kate who was so excited about young Michael/Pog.  During the few weeks they were with us, Poggy began to walk, a process which started as a balancing act between his two feet.  From my bedroom I would hear a single thump in the hall.  Then after a pause a second thump.  After a third thump I’d hear a series of them up to my bedroom door which he’d then push open.

   Young Poggy was also forming his first words.  While out walking with them one day, we found ourselves at the bottom of Russian Hill where Union meets Columbus.  The sight of a dog across the street in Washington Square caused Poggy to point and make a breathy sound similar to the noise we made as children to simulate gun fire.  It sounded like deoggggh.  It bore a striking resemblance to the word dog.  It was a very exciting moment.

On the left: Nellie, Pog and myself; My sister Katie; Poggy with my father Blackie.

   It was also exciting for me to see how animated my sister Katie was in becoming an auntie to little Pog.  Both my sisters had gone to university and dropped out after their second year.  Nell had gone to San Francisco State and Katie to University of California at Berkeley.

   My two sisters were very different people and until Nellie arrived for her visit it was Katie who had been such a good friend to me.  Practically every excursion I took in the city after I left Napa was in her company and she looked after me.

   When we were kids it was always Katie who was the peacemaker of the family.  Nellie and I were the temperamental two and brother Jim was kind of neutral.  Katie always looked on the bright side of any problem and usually found a happy solution.  

   Politics played a big role in all our lives.  The society we were growing up in was gripped by the anti-red hysteria of the McCarthy era.  Even being politically liberal was seen by the federal government as highly suspicious and my parents and all their close friends were far left of liberal.  So we were aware of a difference to most of the kids we went to school with.  Of the four of us only Nellie seemed to gravitate towards active political participation.  I was interested but seeing how the federal government operated scared me.  Family friends Fred Field, Alvah Bessie, and Vin Hallinan all did time in federal prison and I always worried that the same fate could take Blackie and Beth away from us.  The execution of the Rosenbergs in 1953 sent a shiver through people of the left and I found it terrifying.

   So the politics of the day affected each of us four Myers kids.  Jim wound up rebelling against my parents’ values by joining the army.  Once he was on the inside and realised what he’d done, he got himself involved in the stenography corps and never went to Vietnam.

Three photos of my brother Jim. On the left with myself and good friend Augie Belden. In the centre with our cat Totem and on the right a shot, later in life, with sister Kate and myself.

   Having Nellie around made me contemplate a trip to England.  All my travelling had been in the other direction, across the Pacific when in actual fact I had always longed to visit London.  Blackie said that when I was well enough I could go back to work on the waterfront, so a little bit of structure entered my life.  The idea of working on the front and saving enough to make a trip to England gave me a goal.

   When I was in high school, Nellie was sharing an apartment on Greenwich Street with like minded socialists who were politically active.  The two main issues they were most concerned about was racism and the war in Vietnam.  I remember going with Nellie to a demo at the Masonic Auditorium on California Street where an openly racist organisation was holding a conference.  It was night time and demonstrators were lying down in front of the vehicle exit to try and stop the people leaving in their cars.  I don’t recall exactly what played out.  I think an arrest was made but after some negotiation the demonstrators agreed to let the racists drive their cars out of the underground car park without fanfare.

   Nellie saw a lot of the Hallinan boys during this time and was involved in many demonstrations.  There were sit-ins at car showrooms on Van Ness, the Sheraton-Palace Hotel, Lucky Supermarkets and famously at Mel’s Drive-In on Geary.  Nellie got herself arrested on a few occasions.  Ringo and Dynamite Hallinan were often at the apartment on Greenwich Street.  

   Though Nellie and Katie had similar experiences with their time at university, Nellie gravitated towards politics and Katie, when she decided to drop out of Cal Berkeley, went to work in a bank in the financial district.  I remember that, in addition to renting an apartment with her boyfriend Lonnie, Katie actually got herself a credit card which was quite a first for someone from the Myers family.  Blackie had always been highly suspicious of the concept of credit, but I remember Katie being so matter-of-fact about the credit card and don’t recall any fuss about this with Blackie and Beth.  Katie was always highly responsible with both of them and they appreciated it.  It was just a decision on her part to improve the quality of her life.

   Nellie did, after she dropped out of SF State, go to work for a shipping company run by the Kiskaddens who were good friends of my parents.  When she eventually went east to visit family friends in and around New York, it was on one of Kiskadden’s Norwegian ships, The Torvanger, on which she made the final voyage to London.  This would be the very same ship that I went to sea on after I graduated from Tam High.  

  In London Nellie quickly found herself involved in left wing politics and met, fell in love with, and married Trevor Hyett. Trevor was the father of Michael/Pog who was visiting us in San Francisco.

   So these happy events occurred at the same time that I was beginning my descent into the deepest depression of my young life.

To be continued…

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Being Taken Into Custody

Previously in Miller Avenue Musings:  It is the summer of 1967 in Mill Valley where I have stayed up all night talking with poster artist Wes Wilson.

As I left Wes and Eva’s house on Locust Avenue it was a beautiful summer’s morning.  The sun shone brightly in a clear blue sky.  Taking a left through their garden gate, I walked up the hill to Blithedale where I turned right, heading in an easterly direction.   

   My madness had evolved.  I was now convinced that I was a messiah, put on this earth to solve all the problems of humankind.  If that seems a slightly tall order for a drug crazed twenty year old hippie, it was.  But in my fevered state of mind, it all made perfect sense.   Important people would be landing at the airport in San Francisco and driving north on Highway 101.  My thinking was that I must meet them at the highway.

   At the junction of Blithedale and Camino Alto, I cut through the railroad tracks where I had walked to and from school at Alto and Edna Maguire so many times as a kid.  I was excited by the idea of meeting all these people who clearly had the best interests of the planet earth in their hearts and minds.  Amongst their number was, I felt certain, The Beatles, or at least John Lennon, if not all four.  I had the entire LP of Sgt Pepper dancing through my head at this time and felt certain that they would be part of this mobilisation.  Another tall order, I grant you, but making perfect sense to me in my ridiculous state of mind.

   I walked along the tracks until they met Lomita then turned right and headed for the highway.  At the overpass, I positioned myself on the sidewalk overlooking the northbound traffic.  The rush hour had begun and the southbound traffic was one huge slow moving mass but I was totally oblivious to it.  I kept my gaze focussed on the horizon where the highway snaked to the left at Richardson Bay.  I was in a very calm state and kept a beady eye on the traffic.  I must have been there about an hour because a Highway Patrol officer had spotted me 45 minutes earlier and when he saw me again, he stopped to talk to me.  My state of mind was to accept everything I encountered and the Highway Patrol officer was very friendly as I recall.  I told him I’d finally had a good trip on acid and probably babbled something about the caravan of vehicles coming from the airport.  He told me he would be taking me to the county jail in San Rafael and that he’d have to handcuff me which I accepted.  I then sat in the back of his vehicle as he drove us north to the county jail which was underneath the San Rafael courthouse. 

   I had been booked into Marin County jail the previous year when I was arrested in Mill Valley for being in a car where marijuana was found.  I spent one extremely miserable night in the communal male cell and it had been a bleak and depressing experience.  This time, however, they simply put me in a room where I waited until the ambulance guys got there.  Before too long they arrived and I was strapped onto a stretcher with wheels.  

   The guy who sat in the back of the ambulance with me as we drove north towards Napa must have heard many a mad person quack on about saving the world.  Perhaps he secretly hoped that one of them would reveal a great truth, for he pumped me with very specific questions all the way to Napa.  Sadly I cannot recall his questions but I definitely formed the opinion that he was hedging his bets in case one of these crazy patients turned out to be the real messiah.

From left: a California Highway Patrol car, the Marin County Court House and the entrance to Napa State Hospital.

   Ever since childhood I remember that the word ‘Napa’ was synonymous with crazy people.  My father Blackie had a vast vocabulary of slang nicknames which he used to describe practically all things.  A mental hospital would be a laughin’ academy in his colourful lexicon.  Yet most of the people I befriended there were surprisingly normal seeming.  I was given a bed in what looked like an ordinary hospital ward.  The guy in the next bed on my right was very nice and we became friends.  We never discussed why we were there.  To be honest I had no idea why I was there.  It was just an interesting experience I was going through.  I accepted everything that came my way.

    Almost immediately I was given medication which I think was Thorazine and the nurses would come to me with pills several times a day.

   The staff were very friendly and I soon learned from them that their already difficult jobs had been made much harder by the budget cuts introduced by the recently elected California governor, Ronald Reagan.  Reagan had targeted mental health and higher education for his budget cuts and the impact was being felt.  

Ronald Reagan, elected as Governor of California in 1966.

   His election as governor the previous year had been the first step in what he and his financial backer, car dealer Holmes Tuttle, saw as the road to the White House.  Reagan’s victory in California was a sign of what was to come in America.  His speech in support of Barry Goldwater in 1964 had put him on the political map.  The senator from Arizona ran unsuccessfully against Lyndon Johnson for the presidency and advocated the use of nuclear weapons in the war in Vietnam.  Reagan made similar statements once he was in the governor’s mansion.  So now, with actual power, he set about his attack on university students and the mentally ill.

Three faces of Ronald Reagan.

   A committee called Marinites Interested in the Mentally Ill made a report.  Its members observed overcrowding and unrealistic patient loads at three state mental hospitals serving Marin County.  The group toured Mendocino, Sonoma and Napa hospitals and now that Reagan’s budget cuts were beginning to bite, they planned to make monthly inspections.  The Marinites complained that dismissal of institutional and treatment staff was detrimental to patient care.  At Mendocino they noted that outings to the beach, an effective therapy for patients, would no longer happen since the dismissal of an automobile maintenance man.  The loss of janitors had meant trained technicians switched from patient care to cleaning up with brooms.  A registered nurse was pressed into service pushing a food cart, “when she is needed by patients,” the report stated.

   At Napa hospital, the paperwork had increased by 500% due to new programmes like Medicare and Medi-Cal yet the budget cuts got rid of so many office staff that psychiatric workers were doing their own stenographic work as well as their main jobs.  One of the psychologists whose caseload had increased overnight from 130 to 230 complained: “I’m no longer a psychologist.  I am a caretaker.”

A newspaper article about the Marinites and the leafy entrance to the hospital.

   So the staff at Napa were overstretched.  One economy measure was to close the laundry one day a week, but this meant they couldn’t provide the optimum number of bed and diaper changes for their patients.  I don’t recall a staff member being unfriendly but they were all overworked and a bit distracted.  My time at Napa was interesting and I don’t remember any boredom or depression on my part.  It was all an enormous adventure and I was enjoying it.  

   Outside the walls of Napa State Hospital there was a lot going on in the world.  In Vietnam the Viet Cong launched a huge rocket attack on the enormous US air base at Da Nang, killing 13 and wounding 173 others.  The rockets, fired with deadly accuracy from a nearby mountain, set the air base ablaze, destroying three barracks and a score of aircraft worth an estimated $48 million.  War on the streets of the USA erupted in Newark, New Jersey as National Guardsmen and police battled black rioters firing rifles and submachine guns.  For the first time the guardsmen were using live ammunition which brought the death toll to 16 people killed.  Later in the summer, rioting would also break out in Detroit, Michigan.  I, however, was aware of none of this.  If I was going to save the world it was going to have to be without knowing what the hell was going on in the world.

Two newspaper clippings. On the left the Viet Cong attack on the US Air Base in Da Nang and on the right the rioting in Newark.

   That I had been picked up by the Highway Patrol on the overpass was reported in the Independent Journal, the afternoon newspaper in Marin County.  The news item about me was tucked away on page eleven under the headline: ‘Admitted LSD Taker Is Held.’  The article was wrong about the time of day.  The reporter must have misheard the Highway Patrol officer and written it as evening whereas it was very early in the morning.

   One subscriber who saw the story was Nona Kaufmann.  Mrs Kaufmann was alarmed to read about me and brought it to the attention of her daughter Janice.  Jan and I had dated at Tam High and I knew her mother fairly well.  The Kaufmanns lived in Strawberry on the other side of the highway.  

   I had first met Jan one evening in the back seat of a VW Beetle driven by Mark Symmes.  Mark, who was accompanied by a young woman in the front passenger seat, drove us up Edgware to the junction of four corners where there was a big space to park.  I have no memory of why I was in the back seat next to Janice, who I did not know.  I also don’t recall who the young lady with Mark was, but once he’d parked the vehicle, they began making out.  I turned to the young woman on my right and instantly found myself in a passionate embrace.  This was the start of a pretty steady relationship which lasted the rest of my time at Tamalpais High.  Without realising it, I fell in love with Jan.  The reason I didn’t realise it was that I was constantly putting on a front as a lady’s man at school with much flirtation.  I wasn’t aware that I subconsciously put Janice on a pedestal while other women were, I felt, there to be treated in a cavalier fashion.

   I remember Jan asking me what I was going to do with my life and it concerned her that I had no idea.  I remember her father Stephen becoming alarmed at the fact that I bought an expensive sweater for her at Christmas from J Magnin’s in San Francisco.  “This seems serious,” Jan quoted Mr Kaufmann as saying.  

   When I went to sea right after my graduation it was actually my first proper time away from home and I returned, a very changed person, to a Mill Valley which had been transformed.  Most young people were now smoking marijuana, in stark contrast to what the place was like only a few months before.  The short haircuts which were part of a uniform look for young men was no longer the norm as most guys had long hair.  One school friend who had previously looked very collegiate, now resembled Sonny Bono of Sonny and Cher.  He talked of the hidden drug messages in Bob Dylan’s lyrics and how the name “The Lovin’ Spoonful” referred to heroin use.  He spoke enthusiastically of all this as if drug use was a political movement.

   I fell out of touch with Janice during this period.  At the time I was picked up by the Highway Patrol, she was a student at UC Davis and was shown the I-J article by her mother on a weekend visit home.

   Jan visited me at Napa which must have been very strange for her.  She was directed to my ward where she found me surrounded by a group of men, all eager to talk to someone.  These guys apparently were pretending to take their medication rather than actually swallowing the pills.  They offered handfuls of tablets to Jan.  Two of them told her they behaved crazy to avoid being put in jail.  Jan and I wandered through the restricted outdoor area followed, she remembers, by “this posse of fellows.”  Though these guys were not taking their medication, I clearly was, as Jan remembers me as medicated but delusional.  I talked about saving the world with John Lennon and John Sebastian.  This crazy notion took quite a bit of time to fade from my conscious mind.  Looking back on it, I’m truly grateful to Jan for visiting me at the hospital.  She was and still is a good friend.

   One thing I didn’t know at the time was that my father Blackie was there at the hospital almost every day of my three week incarceration.  He did make appearances when others visited, like my sister Kate, but I had no idea of his presence on a day to day basis.

   I was a very passive patient who, when instructed to do something by the staff would oblige.  On occasion strange impulses would appear within me like suddenly taking all my clothes off and standing naked in the corridor.  This didn’t happen often but when it did, a staff member would arrive and gently tell me to put my clothes back on, which I did.  I remember being locked in an empty hall where I walked up and down singing my pretty near perfect imitation of John Lennon doing Day In The Life from the Sgt Pepper album.  

   There was no radio at Napa, so the three weeks I spent there I didn’t hear the Top 40.  I missed the fact that Light My Fire by the Doors climbed the hit parade as did the ghastly San Francisco by Scott McKenzie.  I never heard Up Up and Away by the Fifth Dimension or Don’t Sleep in the Subway by Petula Clark.  I was stuck with Sgt Pepper going through my head.  

   In the hospital every door to the outside world was locked and in that way, all of us patients were prisoners.  I got into the habit of trying every door in case it wasn’t locked.  One morning I turned the knob on a door leading out into the garden and found that it opened.  I walked out and closed the door behind me.  I found myself on a neatly trimmed lawn.  I walked across the grass and kept going.  I passed administrative looking buildings and eventually came to a street.  I turned left and walked until I arrived at a bus stop.  I don’t believe I was there long for very soon a bus arrived.  I got on and for some reason I wasn’t challenged to produce a ticket or money.  So I found a seat in the rear of the bus and sat down, looking out the window and watching the beautiful scenery go by.  I had no idea where I was going.

To be continued.

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